Overcoming my Networking Fears-Networking as a Mirror
Why the way you show up with others reveals exactly how you feel about yourself.
For much of my life, networking felt like a moving target. Some days it landed in my Comfort Zone, like a relaxed chat over coffee, a spontaneous connection, no pressure. Other days it pitched itself straight into my Discomfort Zone, particularly at those events filled with people “doing amazing things” while secretly hoping someone might throw them a lifeline.
And then there were the times it flung me straight into my Panic Zone!
Especially when I was face-to-face with people I admired. People I’d looked up to. People I assumed were out of my league. (Whatever that means.)
I used to think this was about the setting or the stakes or the structure of the event. But it wasn’t. It was about me.
More specifically, how I felt about me.
Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? Networking, like so many things, isn’t really about them. It’s about how safe, confident and worthy we feel inside ourselves in that moment.
If I felt secure in who I was, the conversation flowed.
If I was doubting my worth, I went into performance mode, which for me was a form of avoidance mode.
And if I felt like I didn’t belong, I disappeared in plain sight.
That’s why, when I joined Keith Ferrazzi and Ronen Olshansky’s Beyond Connection programme, I wasn’t just learning how to network more effectively. I was learning how to show up. As me. In every room. In every relationship.
And that’s when I realised: this is the very same journey I guide women through in my coaching and in Turning the Tables.
Because how you present yourself to the world, especially in spaces where you’re meant to “shine”, tells you everything about the story you’re still believing about your value. And for many women, those stories were written by a patriarchal system that taught them not to take up space.
But what if your discomfort at that networking event isn’t a flaw in you…it’s a clue?
What if it’s pointing you to the gap between how you see yourself and how remarkable you actually are?
That’s why my approach is never about bulldozing your fears or pretending they don’t exist. It’s about meeting them, gently, honestly, and choosing to act anyway. Not from ego. From truth.
So if you ever find yourself hesitating before you reach out…
If your inner voice is whispering, “Who am I to…?”
If you’ve ever walked into a room and shrunk instead of shone…
This is your invitation.
- To do it scared.
- To do it messy.
- To do it anyway.
Because when you show up as the woman you really are, even if your hands are shaking, you’ll start to realise something extraordinary:
You already belong.
You’ve always belonged.
You just didn’t believe it.